'It’s like a pet peeve for me'- Siya Kolisi’s ex-wife Rachel speaks on podcast about struggles of long-distance marriage

In a recent podcast, Rachel Kolisi opened up about the unique challenges of long-distance marriage and maintaining connection.

A week after South African rugby captain Siya Kolisi and his wife Rachel Kolisi announced their separation details from a recent podcast have reignited discussion about the couple’s relationship dynamics.

Fans across South Africa were heartbroken to learn of the divorce of this celebrated couple, who have shared over a decade together, built a family, and jointly spearheaded The Kolisi Foundation.

Their story has inspired many, both for their commitment to each other and for their activism around social causes.

In the October episode of The African CEO podcast titled “Rachel Kolisi: How to Lead Your Own Life,” Rachel spoke openly about the struggles that came with Siya’s demanding rugby schedule, hinting at the challenges that may have played a part in their recent decision.

“From the beginning, you know, we have always had situations of him being away for one, two, three, four months at a time, and you learn to kind of live with that,” Rachel shared.

She reflected on how she adapted to Siya’s absences for extended periods, a reality she acknowledged was not easy.

“I have friends whose husband will travel for three days, and then [they say to me] I don't know how the heck you do this, this is insane.”

Rachel Kolisi’s remarks have sparked conversations online, with many speculating about the personal toll such separations can take.

Fans have highlighted how the couple moved to Paris last year when Siya joined French rugby team Racing92, an adjustment that left Rachel with the bulk of the household and child-care responsibilities.

After recently moving back to South Africa, their relationship reportedly faced continued strain amid Siya’s busy professional life.

In her podcast appearance, Rachel also expressed frustration about the challenges of being fully present in relationships, sharing her personal “pet peeve” of people being on their phones when spending time with family or friends.

“It’s like a pet peeve for me; it’s like when people are with one another, like at a dinner or something, and someone’s on their phone; it’s just an absolute no-no for me.”

She continued, emphasizing the value of undivided attention in personal interactions.

“If you are going to take the time, then be there, you know, be there, be present and there.”

She spoke candidly about the impact of modern distractions, particularly mobile phones, on quality time.

“I just think the time that you do make for people, make sure that you’re fully present because that goes a long way with people, just making them feel like they’ve got your full attention,” she said.

“It can last you a good few months.” Rachel’s words have resonated with many listeners, some of whom have echoed her sentiments on social media, calling for more mindfulness in relationships.

While Rachel’s podcast comments shed light on some of the challenges within their marriage, the Kolisis remain committed to co-parenting their two children, Nicholas Siyamthanda and Keziah, as well as Siya’s younger siblings, Liyema and Liphelo, whom they adopted after his mother passed away in 2009.

In their official statement, the Kolisis emphasized that while their relationship is evolving, their shared dedication to their family remains strong.

“We remain great friends and committed partners in raising our children with the same love and care they’ve always known."