Domestic abuse: English-born former Kenyan international opens up on his traumatic childhood experience

Atieno, who played for the Harambee Stars between 2009 and 2012, has opened up on his dark childhood, where he was subjected to multiple accounts of child abuse between the age of four and 11.

Former Harambee Stars and Luton Town striker Taiwo Atieno has courageously shared the story of his traumatic childhood, marked by years of deliberate and brutal domestic and child abuse. 

Atieno, who won five caps for Kenya after making his debut in 2009, opened up on his suffering between 1989 and 1997 alongside his mother Bridget Mary Glaisher and brother  at the hands of his mother's boyfriend, a man who had migrated from West Africa.

 The abuse took place across various urban locations in the United Kingdom and left deep emotional and psychological scars on Atieno and his younger brother.

Atieno’s story is one of resilience and survival in the face of relentless abuse. From the ages of 4 to 11, he and his brother were subjected to severe physical and emotional abuse that included being slapped, beaten with belts, and verbally assaulted. 

In one harrowing incident, the boys were slapped in the face while sitting in a bathtub because they had forgotten to wait outside their school. When their mother tried to defend them, she was punched in the nose and pushed down 12 flights of stairs by the abuser.

Reflecting on this period, Atieno recalled in a letter to the British High Commision, "There aren’t enough pages in this letter to detail all the incidents that happened to Boy 1 and Woman 1 at the hands of Man 1 between 1989 and 1997 or to extensively explain why the British state system failed to protect them. I know this story very well because Boy 1 was me, and Woman 1 was my mother, Bridget Mary Glaisher."

Atieno’s story further details how the abuse extended beyond physical violence to psychological torment, often carried out publicly, adding layers of humiliation and trauma.

 At the Glastonbury Festival, for instance, Atieno was kicked in the stomach and beaten with a belt for not following instructions. He was verbally and racially abused, called slurs like "half-caste mutt" and "lady boy," and was further ridiculed for his speech and mannerisms, which were associated with the white middle class.

One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of Atieno’s ordeal was the impact on his mental health. In his desperation to escape the abuse, he attempted suicide multiple times by ingesting bleach and vodka. These attempts led to hospitalizations where his stomach had to be pumped to save his life.

Despite the trauma, Atieno found a lifeline in football. After being sent to a special needs boarding school, Alderwasley (ASNS), he began to rebuild his life.

 "I used the four years at ASNS to build and establish a relationship with God and to practice and study football," Atieno explained. Football became his refuge, a therapeutic outlet that allowed him to channel his pain into something positive.

 It was here that he developed crucial skills like teamwork, leadership, and resilience, which helped him regain his confidence and sense of purpose.

Atieno’s mother played a pivotal role in his survival and subsequent success. She was his protector and his closest ally, ensuring that he had the opportunity to pursue football at a professional level. Sadly, within six months of Atieno signing with Walsall F.C., his mother passed away from a rare form of stomach cancer.

 "She wasn’t just my mother; she was my protector, supporter, best friend, and domestic abuse co-survivor. Her death made me feel helpless because I always wanted to protect and provide for her," Atieno shared.

This profound loss at the age of 16 marked another turning point in Atieno’s life. It propelled him into a journey of self-healing, during which he spent years working on his emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual health.

 "I have come to learn that heartbreak is not the absence of love but the proof of having a heart that can love and make sacrifices for the greater good," Atieno wrote, reflecting on the lessons he has learned from his journey.

Atieno's experiences have fueled his passion for giving back, particularly to communities in Africa where resources for survivors of abuse are scarce.

 He is now dedicated to building football facilities in urban areas of Africa, where children and mothers facing similar abuse can find safe havens and opportunities to empower themselves.  He also served as the commercial director of the now-liquidated Kenya Premier League limited.

"The reason I’m sharing this story with you is that I believe you have the power and the duty to protect other mothers and children from deliberate, intentional, and cruel forms of abuse within Britain and the Commonwealth countries in Africa," he emphasised.

Follow Pulse Sports X account for more updates.